Lo(o)sing My Religion

I was raised Christian. My parents were very loosey-goosey about taking their children to church but, I still consider myself Christian.

As kids I remember we went to Sunday school when I was in 1st grade & 3rd grade (don't ask me what happened in 2nd grade). I don't remember ever going to services at the Methodist church we attended, just the classes. I dimly remember learning how to play Dog,Dog,Who's Got the Bone? I also remember reading a children's book about a flying saucer coming to Earth to learn about Jesus. Even as a third grader I thought that was pretty odd. "Show me the Christ child or we'll vaporize the planet!" (A demented sense of humour runs in the family).

The only time I remember attempting to go to services I remember opening the big double doors into this vast room filled with people listening to a sermon. It seemed very mysterious to me. I was just standing there with the doors wide open & this crabby old lady sitting in the back row turns around, looks me right in the eye (think a scary witch)& says "Close the door!!" I did. I was literally on the outside looking in. So much for getting churched up.

When I was in Boy Scouts on a camping trip we were compelled to attend religious services on Sunday. I remember becasue we weren't regular church goers I didn't have to go to a specific service. I was an opportunistic worhipper. The Protestant services were held at the campsite & Catholic services were always held at a church. If it was a cold & rainy weekend I was Catholic & went to the church to be warm & dry. If the weather was nice I was Protestant. I'd sit at the back of the service & cut out as soon as nobody was looking.

I guess I was pretty agnostic about the whole thing. I believe in science & evolution but, always feel that there's "something else" as well.

My feelings crystallized somewhat after taking a class on comparative religion & learning about the evolution of the universe.

The comparative religion class covered the world's major religion. I remember particularly enjoying learning about Hinduism. Hinduism believes there are an indefinite amounts of paths to wisdom. In wide open interpretation of things Christianity,Judaism,Islam,etc...are all trying to do the same thing. Make sense of the universe. Get are finite minds around an infinite universe.

But, strictly speaking this universe may not be infinite. The oscillating theory of the universe says that after billions & billions of years of expansion (since the initial Big Bang) eventually the universe will contract again & become One again & start all over. This cycle goes on forever.

Hinduism at its base says the same thing. Through good living, good deeds, whatever the correct path, one is reincarnated at a higher level. At the highest level our essence goes back to the being/intelligence/energy we all came from. Everybody's going eventually. It just takes some people longer than others. That's a very optimistic way to look at things.

Scientifically, I know we're all star children. Literally. The heavy elements that are in our bodies (iron,copper,most metals) were created in the dying explosions of giant supernovas. Stars that existed before our Sun. Out bodies are made out of star "stuff".

I don't see why the spiritual element of the universe shouldn't mirror what happens to the physical part. It's all part of the same thing.

I like the all encompassing aspect of Hinduism & enjoy it's mythology as well. I particularly gravitate to the god Ganesh (Ganapati in Guajurati). Because I like elephants, he is amongst other things the removal of obstacles & I have an affinity for an overweight god.

Christianity still resonates strongly in me. I'm not sure I believe everything the New Testament says about Jesus but, my soul yearns to believe some parts of it. If nothing else it's a good way to live.

Buddhism, Confucianism all teach worthwhile ways to live & view existence.

Islam & Judaism also have great worth in what they can teach us.

Religions aren't hateful it's what people do in the name of religion with that's hateful.